You see, there's this God-guy, and I've been thinking about him a lot lately. I'm not sure when it happened but in the past few weeks I've discovered that my list of names for God could be compiled like this:
Provider
Teacher
Leader
Provider
Helper
Giver
O yeah, and Provider
I've come to realize that I've spent much of the recent months viewing God like the head honcho of the financial department of life's company. I have a morning pep rally to let him know what the business looks like, show him where the numbers need crunched, ask him to beef up the support a little, and add a side note of praise for the success of the business so far. At night I give him a pat on the back congratulating him for another injury-free, in-the-black day (or a subtle reminder on the in-the-red-days) and hit the hay.
As I've been thinking about this problem...this "provider" problem, wherein God is Mr. CEO in a starched suit who shows up long enough to read and critique P&L reports, I've come to realize that that's not actually who God is or wants to be at all. Sure, his name is Provider. That's obvious in the Bible and very obvious in my life. But if my son looked at me for nothing but the next meal (he has his days!) I would work hard to help him understand that I want to be more than a feeding machine for him. I want our little Wesley to find comfort, joy, humor, fun and adventure when he's with me. I want to be giggly with him, and snuggle, and teach him and enjoy watching him discover. I want him to know me as more than just a provider.
When it comes to God, the word "friend" comes to mind, which is a really cool word, and the idea of being friends with God is pretty mind-boggling. If I'm completely honest with myself (putting all Christian expectation aside), I'm not sure if I treat God like a friend most days. When I call my friends I usually laugh sometime before I hang up the phone. Sometimes when I'm with them I get so giggly I have tears streaming down my face (Havilah has that affect on me). We give each other advice, talk about life; sometimes we talk about money and business. I may even ask them for a favor and some days they give me gifts that are unexpected. I wonder when the last time was that I forgot about the list of needs I want to share with God and just laughed at something he created (like the donkey that yodels and screams almost every morning...how on earth did God come up with that noise?!)? Or talked to him just to share my take on life? Or stopped concentrating on Mr. CEO and concentrated for a second on the part of him who wants to be my bestie?
I want my list of names for God to drastically change this next year; not because I can open the Bible and find words written on a page describing God, but because I have experienced him in those ways and know him for real like that. I may keep his title of CEO because it's just a pretty inspiring thought that God is CEO of our life, but I'd like to get him away from the office and out to dinner, so to speak. Eat a favorite meal with him. Talk about kids and marriage and families and the snow storm that's supposed to be coming. I'd like to giggle with him and find out his favorite color, his biggest passion, and what made him come up with the idea of my life. I'd like to tell him how often Wesley leaks through the last package of off-brand diapers I bought, ask him a tip on helping with teething and see if he has a good book to recommend. I'd like his take on wheat-free recipes, clothing styles and good deals on saddles. I want to share with him my ideas for a new quilt, my plans for Warren's birthday, and the absolutely incredible feelings I get when I spend time with my husband. And I really want to know what on earth was going on in his mind when he gave that donkey his voice!
I'm so very thankful that God is such an outstanding provider. It takes a load off my mind to know that he is in charge of finances and is perfectly capable of filling his polished CEO shoes. I'm also very thankful that he's lately refused to stay in his pinstripe suit and stuffy tie. I'm so glad he's invited himself over to my little kitchen to sit on my wobbly chair, eat my sugar-free diet, enjoy my entertaining husband and grinning baby, and experience life in this little apartment of ours, surrounded by dreams and the partnership of two people who are fiercely committed and passionately in love with each other.
Now that sounds like a best friend.
Thank you, Mr. CEO!
