It's not fair.

I don't think I have been fair.

Not to myself, my husband or our son.

It's just that I forget what's important and I "can't see the forest for the trees," or however that saying goes.

I was reading back in an old journal from last year and I felt like I was listening to a broken record. That day I was worried about money, worried about the business, worried about not making budget. Last week I wrote a journal entry that was almost identical to that one a year ago. And today I'm kind of tired of those sort of words cluttering my journal.

You know why? Because last year the issue of coming up short resolved itself. It's called a new business...some months are abundant, some are lean. The similar situation from last week is already taken care of. I could write those exact words in my journal today and they would be insignificant by June.

Insignificant.

Do you know what's not insignificant? The pearls my husband gave me yesterday as an anniversary gift. The look of ecstatic anticipation while our son waited by the gate to ride the carousel in the mall. The smell of the bright pink peonies Mom sent home. The progress in getting healthy and the doctor who has helped me so much. That patient Lover-man who introduced our son to fishing. The letter from a friend who talked about our miscarriage and made me cry all over again. The laughter we shared with our friends at Bible study Friday night. And God -- that all-surrounding Man who has been showering me with an overwhelming amount of grace and revelation and a new kind of understanding of who He is.  

In comparison, journal entries worrying about budgets and business just don't seem fair. Or right. Or righteous.

My life is much too full and glorious and crazily God-blessed to waste time with words other than the ones to describe the extravagance that surrounds me and the feelings of my heart. Everything else is just earthly clutter.

There, I said it.

Now to live it...